Safs answer to making the world more beautiful

Safs answer to making the world more beautiful

Life is too short and we should make it nicer. There should only be nice people in it and not ebayers that send rude messages just because I describe a shirt as with the exact colour. He has a fit and says “denim blue is not an official colour, nor is battleship grey or post office red. He says that if he got a shirt described as battleship grey and it wasn’t made of battleships then its false advertising.
Apparently as I told him I’m very sorry but you can return for a full refund including postage then I am now a neurotic, nasty woman who needs help and should be locked up. This is a little nicer than the customer 2 years ago who didn’t read the description properly and suggested that I had 6 children all by 7 different fathers (work that one out), sat on my fat arse eating chocolate all day and took it up the bum!! (Well at least there was a compliment in there.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words, well words will hurt me deeply and for longer, making mental and cause me a great deal of psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and possible snappiness to all my family. So please if you are an ebay member with an IQ of an amoeba, not happy with your 10p bargain then please throw a stone and be done with it.

So yes we all need to be more beautiful both on the outside and inside

Why do people put such emphasis on silly quotes like beauty is only skin-deep? That's deep enough. What do you want, all your internal organs to be colour co-ordinated with pretty purple bows on? (Actually I’d quite like that) Wouldn’t that make surgeons enjoy their work more? Would be really exciting cutting someone open to see if they have a Laura Ashley Liver or just a Primark Pancreas. May be difficult if they need a transplant though...criteria...rhesus negative blood, good condition, purple or coordinating colours only!!
Always remember that true beauty comes from within — from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes--


I do have a great idea for war...a giant paintball game. ...or laughing gas or shooting sweeties at each other dressed as clowns.

You could have the two sides different colour paint balls, the ones who get hit the most lose. Would be much safer and cheaper and would be a laugh too. I think I may write to Obama as he obviously hasn’t thought of such a great idea yet.
Can you imagine...suicide bomber with 100kg of Semtex strapped to him, sweating and chuntering quotes from the Koran or whatever it is, one of our men going up to them and saying ..”Why don’t you have a sweetie and join in the paintball game instead of dying?” May have to make it chocolate for the women suicide bombers and then it can’t fail.
Clearing up a load of sick though overeating of sweeties and chocolate, the laundering of uniforms with red and blue paint on is all more appealing than wading through entrails and writing badly spelt and written letters to the poor families of loved ones killed in action.

Then we could all give each other flowers and cuddles, shake hands, say sorry I was wrong you were right, let’s all live...sorted!!!!

Saffy for president.